Leggings????? Are You Hitler?!

Women and they're crazy fashion styles. I love them all, well most of them! Whether it's skirts, dresses, jeans, hair up or down, whatever floats your boat as a lady, I can assure you that there are only a few small things that really turn me off. One is short hair, but I'll get back to that another time!

Leggings! a stretchy, tight form of trouser that women wear and often look great in. you can be pretty much any size to wear a legging, or of course a Jegging, (leggings that have a jean print on so they look like jeans, quit genius actually). However there are a few girls out there who seem to fail to possess a mirror. This is a major downfall for some, especially if its mixed with a passion to buy clothes that are basically the wrong size. I guess because of the stretchy quality one would assume that they can get away with it, at the same time feeling slightly better about yourself as this week you've dropped 2 sizes. But ladies listen up. You cannot! As a constant onlooker I have just a morsel of advice.

Firstly lets talk buying small. If you wear leggings that are too tight they will roll at the sides, like most clothes actually. This makes you look fatter than you actually are. the body with push out where it can, which tends to be in those sideways sections where the material is weaker than other areas, just below the waist for instance. They will also stretch so far that as you slowly walk away from my failed advances, not only can I see that you are wearing french knickers beneath your tight body wrap, but I also happen to have a detailed knowledge of the pattern that adorns your fancy underwear, the type of frill, the size and whether you have your label still attached or not. Girls! WE CAN SEE THROUGH THEM!!!!!! A look that will destroy even the finest of ladies' exit vogue.

In all honesty I have to question my motives for this blog, am I really asking girls to hide away their knickers? Not so much, so please if we ever meet don't feel that I am adverse to the possible sighting of what's beneath your outer most wear.  I love to see a sexy pair of knickers, but if every other bloke in the vicinity has also clapped his eyes all over your ass then what makes me special?! Unfortunately not much.

There is another rather poignant point to over-tight leggings that I feel is worth mentioning, one that really grinds my gears, or my eyes in this case! Have you ever seen a WW2 film and looked at the Nazis? Yes I'm going there! They have hugely low crotches in their trousers, a deliberate fashion choice by the Third Reich I'm sure, but surely not planned to be carried into the 21st Century. Some girls seem to love it, or at least try at every expense to copy it. Should your leggings be too tight and you pull them up with the force of a small elephant to get them on, the crotch will hang low, like a Nazi. Is this the look the youth of today are going for? No? then by a new pair of bloody leggings, not being made of much they surely only cost a few pennies.

This problem is also shared with the smaller percentage of girls who wear leggings too loose. Low crutch and baggy thighs is not what gets me going. Yes I can't see your underwear but I'm sure if I waited long enough I would have a full frontal after your legs undressed themselves with the pure force of gravity!